hi everyone, TW for family violence and mentions of SA.

I recently started seeing a domestic violence and sexual assault counsellor and was diagnosed by a psych with C-PTSD. I didn't initially start seeing my counsellor for this, but through talking to them, I've identified that one parent has been abusing me since I was a child: psychologically, emotionally, financially, and physically on one occasion. The other parent let it happen. I've been completely dissociated since a young age and I've developed quite a few mental health disorders, and have never been able to figure out why that was. It seems I've had PTSD for some time.

I've been in counselling and seeing psychologists on and off for over a decade. I have told many people at length about things this family member has done that are cruel and vindictive, but no mental health professional has ever identified this to me as abuse. No one even looked at a PTSD diagnosis until I experienced trauma that I guess looked more like typical trauma???

So I brushed it off as just me being dramatic and suffered in silence- I'm still doing so, because I'm afraid to even give details on this forum in case I'm "making it up" or a future employer judges me for going through this, or something (idk I know that's silly but I'm an anxious person hahaha).

Had someone recognised this as family violence, I think I would have been able to access resources that were much better for me way sooner. I just don't know how to deal with the anger of no one ever realising what was going on or stepping in to protect me as a kid.  I know no system can be perfect, and no one can change my past, but I'm hoping to hear some kind words.

Thanks for reading all this 😊