@tyme Yeah it does help, when they aren’t around and I feel down or something I like to look at photos of them. All three of them have been the biggest comfort when I have been feeling really bad the last couple of weeks, my partner is nicest most caring person I have ever met and the boys just know the right time for a hug. 

Also, sorry to everyone for being so, I don’t want to say stupid, but yeah stupid, angry, illogical, a mess the last couple of weeks I don’t know why I get like that, i just do when I’m really upset and the only outlet for me is to take it out on people online it’s so dumb, and sometimes my thoughts just get so busy that I just say words while I try and make sense of what I actually want to say. Sorry for upsetting people and behaving so dumb