@Molly22 

i have a red cattle dog x staff so I can understand what a high energy dog they can be. When you mentioned your trip to the ocean and only going for 2 times out of the 3 weeks, I just wanted to let you know that the way you described it, you were focused on the negative. Unfortunately, you can train your brain to only find negatives and you will develop neural pathways along with those thinking patterns. 

This may be a hard challenge, but can you tell me something that was positive out of that 3 week trip to the ocean? 

Also, just because you were diagnosed with autism, does not make it who you are. It has and will always be a part of you, but just like a person with an arm removed, we can still find a way to adapt ourselves and live a positive life if our headspace is in the right place. 

You mentioned you loved art, pictures and videos but you can't fix a fence?  Has your husband got any friends that can help out during this time, or could you advertise on-farm sitting Australia for help in exchange for a place to stay while he is gone?  I know I am proposing solutions for you, but i just would like to know what you would be open to and what would be a positive experience for you while he is gone. 

If you think it's going to be all doom and gloom, chances are no matter how good an event that comes along is, you are going to think its all doom and gloom any way.