Oh I wasn't trying to minimise, but I think I did and I apologise.

I know these things are real. I also think a lot about what it does to people. I was trying to focus on you because yours is the recovery that I'm focussed on. (and this other person isn't here and for all I know isn't even trying to get help.)

But yeah, you're right and I should stress, you do not need to intenalize. First step of any abuser is to convince the abusee that the abuse is ok. You're taking your ok back. Respect.