@Peri 

Thanks for reaching out. I have thought it's hard for people to know what to say. I understand. My friend has been amazing to me. He really is such a great friend. I'm very blessed to have him. I keep trying to push myself to do more, be more, get my proverbial sh...t together. Then I wonder why I can't do it. 

I think that I'm pushing myself too hard when I've just been through a major ordeal over a long period of time. I need to slow down and be more gentle in myself and stop giving myself so many high expectations at this time. I'll try remember. 

She is moving out today. I miss my home but I don't at the same time. I'm scared to go back because of the emptiness. The loss that's going to be in front of me. The dreams that once was. The memories that once were. I know I'm probably going to cry and I'm going to hurt. 

My head is very muddled and so is my heart. It's going to take a lot of adjusting. Then there is the fact I need a housemate ASAP. If I had it my way, Id  just have space for a while so I could adjust a bit more. 

I've actually just slept a lot while at my friend's house. This unbelievable tiredness and not sure whether I'm up or down, what's left or right most times is extremely draining. 

Thanks again for reaching out. 

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