To add I am so heavily depressed. I don't remember any day gone by that I have not been suicidal. The mind games, the bagging me out for my illness, the abuse, the way I've been messed with, seeing her everyday, knowing she sees me crumble and keeps going at me with her bull...it. I got too tired to care or do anymore about it. I don't speak to her. Only if I absolutely have to and even then I double check if it's really necessary. She lives here but I ignore her. She doesn't exist to me. I don't care about her life or what she is doing. I don't want or need anything from her. I'm never going to get any acknowledgement nor any sincere/genuine apologies from her. As I said she doesn't exist.