@Zoe7 

You said this.

"Here is the dichotomy however - can we show others the path we want them to take and in doing so change them in some way while not giving them the same in return. I do not believe we as individuals should change for anyone - our true, authentic self has to be the one we present so we can be around, with, alongside those that share those same values and beliefs as we do. If someone we are with does not share those fundamantal things we so highly regard in ourselves then maybe they are not who we should be with anyway."

I do not believe we as individuals should change for anyone - no. I believe if we wanted to make changes for ourselves, it would be because we want to change, we want to be a better person, we want our lives to be better in some way, we want something different. In saying that though, when who you are is really hurting people, people that care for you and love you, when who you are is causing so much damage to another person and so much hurt, when that is who you are and you keep getting given so many chances and so much support from your loved ones and you don't want any relatiosnhips to end but you do not want to change either, and you say you want to change but then negate on that and lay blame on the other person , well hey shame on you for really stuffing with someone's feelings, heart and head. 

Furthermore, change is inevitable in life. Very inevitable. My view, thoughts and beliefs were you as a couple will change and perhaps people will grow if they want to. I wanted to be with someone that was willing to understand those things and grow together. Sure, Ok fine, I will admit I lived in some fantasy world perhaps of my own creating that it was even possible. However, I lived that way in this relationship. I loved her very much. With all my heart and all my soul. I wanted to grow as a person and I was willing to change in areas where I could see I perhaps needed to change. I was not willing to change things about me that did not need changing, especially if they were not hurting anyone immensely. 

I ma talking about the clothes I may like to wear, the way I like to have my hair, the books I like to read, the music I like to listen to, and so on. No one should ask you to change those things if that is who you are and what you like. 

My beliefs, my thoughts and my understandings about things may appear to be a fantatsy life for others, a world created that just does not exist, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. It was what I believed and thought though. 

Sure maybe I am guilty of pushing too hard to want someone to communicate with me in a relationship. Maybe I am guilty of asking for those needs to be met time and time again. Maybe I was lso trying to do my best to have a healthy relationship. Communication is healthy. It creates intimacy and closeness. Try living with someone who doesn't talk to you for days on end. Try living with someone who shuts you out emotionally. Try living with someone who just completely cuts you off. Try living with that and being in love with the person, Being in love does not die quickly. If it does, then I question if it ever was love. 

As for my kind heart and my empathy, it needs to change. I cannot be this person anymore. It has hurt me in my life more than it has sustained me in my life. There are very few who will not take you for a ride and trample all over that.