@Anastasia
It's my kind, loving and caring heart that is the issue. I have cared immensely for people all my life. Ever since I was a child up until now. I have care for people that have hurte, we're continuing to hurt me, had nothing better to do than hurt me. I kept caring, I kept loving, I kept being there, I just kept on. I did it my while life. This is what I've done. I'm 41 years old now and life has kicked the sh...it out of me.
My heart, my kindness, empathy has done nothing but get me into trouble, done nothing but bought pain, done nothing but cause damage, done nothing but really *!$#- my soul up.
Do I trust anyone anymore. Not at all. For years I have felt I'd be better off on my own. I'm 41 now and I actually do not see anything wrong with that mindset. I don't see why it is such a problem for people when zi say I like spending a lot of my time alone. Most times they go into such negativity. Oh that's not good, you need to socialise. It can add to depression. I feel like saying actually no it's quite the opposite. Being around people makes my depression much worse. Oh, why? Cause most people are assh...Les. Oh. I'm getting even tired if having to justify my preferences in life.
When this ass...ole leaves, I will be blocking her right away on my phone. There is zero reason to have contact. ZERO. If I could afford the rent on my own, I'd prefer living here just by myself.
If you want to throw idea around in meeting people @Anastasia go for it. I cannot promise you I can be helpful at all. I see myself in a very disgusting, ugly, worthless, pathetic way at the meeting ment, that I just can't even see anything good about myself if anyone elses I no longer trust, I don't even trust myself anymore @Anastasia
However the universe works in showing people that they really have wronged someone, whatever the universe outs in someone's path to show them the truth of who they are and have been, I can only hope it happens to her and it brings her to her knees. I have zero interest in having anything to do with her when she is gone.
