@Anastasia 

I'm.not OK at all. I'm so damn angry and in pain. An impossible situation. I'm tired of people telling me be strong, you've got this, do this, do that. I'm heavily depressed, have no relief from my feelings and thoughts, am struggling with the loss, confusion and especially not being able to talk to her about our split. 

There is a shortage of accommodation here where I live. Real estates take forever to go through applications. There is no long term accommodation at any of the caravan parks. She has put three applications in. Does not mean sny if them will be successful. I can't leave because I got to be here and do things around the house BUT I'm struggling to do it because every single day I'm having to try get through the day. 

I'm not kicking her out. I need to sort something out for myself cause I can't keep going on like this. It's too much weight on my soul, heart, body and mind. 

I can't deal with how I'm feeling everyday. The loss of her, the loss of my dreams, the loss of the life we had planned together, the loss of so many things. If one more person is to say to me, there will be someone else, what are you going to do moving forward and do on, I think I'm going to scream. I'm not even thinking about any of that and it's not helpful. 

There are not enough jars in the world to catch my tears.