That sounds really rough @Powderfinger and as @Anastasia has so aptly put it, such a difficult situation to try to navigate- I'm not sure there is an easy answer. I'm hearing your struggle, your hurt and your pain and I'm sorry. It seems to me that you are someone who cares and feels very deeply- no wonder this feels so hard!

I'm also sensing a great deal of self awareness- you've been able to identify there's been a trigger and that you may currently be reacting to it and that you are a sensitive person (in no way a bad thing!) and that that is having an impact on your response to the situation. It also sounds like you've got a great deal of knowledge and insight into how your CPTSD may be having an impact here. I know these don't exactly resolve the situation, but I feel like it's a great step in terms of enabling you to narrow down and articulate fairly specifically what the issue you're struggling with is. Not only that, but I've seen a lot of strength and resilience in you also- I've heard about some of the hard times you've been through, but also about how you've gotten up again and kept going.

Feel free to keep posting here and reaching out for support if you need it though, as you have been, and please know we're here and we'll ride with you.