Thanks for the reply @BlueBay . Thats pretty much where im almost up to in my journey is to chat about the process of reporting. Im not sure i could handle the court side of things etc either because im worried the impact it will have on my mental health and the stress it could put on my family. Its a very big decision. I have been supported by services and some family so far wich has been very helpful and it has made things so far a bit easier...i still have bad dreams and sometimes the negative memories make me feel so exhausted and it can be hard to function day to day with even small tasks. Some days are better than others and im doing my best to stay positive. I often wondered why most of my life i have battled with numerous addictions and had many stays at mental health hospitals and i cant believe it took 30 odd years to remember what happened to me. It can at times seem very sureal.