Welcome to the forum. It's really great to see you here reaching out for support. It can be hard to do especially if it's new to you, and you're used to being the one to hold things together. 

 

I read your post hearing the pressure you're under at the moment. Pregnancy and raising kids can be so tough at the best of times, let alone with big stress like financial difficulties and work that you are facing. Late pregnancy with other children to care for was a difficult time for me. I was tired (exhausted), in pain, uncomfortable, wondering how I would cope... really hard at times. 

 

I'm not sure whether you've heard of the organisation PANDA before? They run a helpline which supports families during and after pregnancy, who are experiencing challenges like anxiety and depression. Their information is here. If you're having your baby at a hospital there may also be a social worker who could help you and your family work through some of the challenges you're facing too. Often you can access them through whoever is providing your antenatal care. 

 

In terms of the birth trauma you experienced, have you spoken with anyone like your GP, a midwife, an obstetrician (not sure what kind of care you might be getting) about the past trauma? It might help to be able to talk through your past experience/s and any fears you have about the upcoming birth, so you can put a plan in place. A plan really helped me to feel like I was in control which I found seriously important.

 

There are lots of parents here who might be able to relate to and understand the stress and pressure that can come with it all. You're (we're) definitely not alone with those issues here and I hope it helps to be here.