@Gibbs  Gibbs i appreciate your honesty. wow just wow you are very good with your words. i was wondering what was your career when you were younger?  i did temporary secretarial work for years. i was a rebel at school because of my toxic father.  left at year 10.  only to go to uni as a adult in my 40s and did philosphy and politics. i loved learning.

As you know i have a form of schizophrenia called schizoaffective disorder and ptsd due to the hell we as a family went through with my middle son. they were dark days and my memory is still bad when i try to remember. i am not proud of everything that happened but i am human and therefore make mistakes. 

that is where i need your help.  to get through the dark past and finally live again.x