@PeppyPatti I have always been one who cares... probably too much and it has resulted in me getting hurt a fair bit.  I think it has also caused the development of a few unhealthy traits which are only evident when I am highly stressed and full of anxiety etc.  

That side of me is far more self-oriented and can be manipulative and dishonest.  The total opposite to how I was raised, I was lucky because a lot of my good stuff was taught to me by my grandmother.  She was a hard task master, but she was always honest and forthright.  I know that she would be totally appalled by the 'other side of me' as her teachings were of respect and honour.  

I know that I would have been given the biggest spanking as a child if I was disrespectful and rude to anyone.  I guess in a way sometimes I am mentally punishing myself because I know the difference between right and wrong and I failed those teachings.  I know that all I can do is work hard to improve myself and try my best to eliminate that bad side of me.  That side would have me in so much trouble if I don't get control of it now.