Now I'm getting a sense of you 

@Arbie_wun 

Too loving. 

what does this mean ? 

I'm mindful that finding support is about having a safe space to be vulnerable, to be able to be authentic and be you. Maybe, For someone to see you being completely you. 

This is  exactly me and as I write to you I am presently on therapy struggling with this term. ." too loving ' 

I look and listen to on audible and take on the insights of Terry Real,  a couple's  therapist  and James Doty a neurologist; 

 Terry Real, a family therapist in Boston, USA, speaks    about speaking of your issues with whoever ........... even when met with resistance.

How to you do this ? Get support from friends, loved ones, or a therapist for yourself.

This is where I believe you -- and me go wrong. 

We don't do the support thing. .once it took me 2-4 years to tell my therapist that I budget but she spent years being like a mother speaking to her daughter how to budget. 

So i spent 2-4 years rolling my eyes when I left her session and she wrote her notes that I can't budget. 

But then - I didn't tell her why I have no money because I was so stressed out being in a marriage with a diagnosed  schizophrenic I was paying all the bills myself. 

So I refused practical support for being married to a person suffering a MI life I stopped talk from seeing my therapist every bloody time I saw her wasting both of our time her treating me like her daughter. Then ide leave rolling my eyes and wasting my money and her time.....

Being influenced on the work of neurosurgeon James Doty, he writes that rewiring your own brain can change you. 

He suggests to 

think compassionate and think empathy. James Doty writes that this will kickstart manifestation about what you get  in your life. :

.

Why was I just loving to me and told my therapist I was paying all the bills and that's why I had no money. That i was budgeting ? We are talking years here. 

Why wasn't I caring to me so I could really dig into changing my life and being free from my pathologies ? 

Why didn't I get support, get someone over to take him out for a few hours and I could have gotten emotional strength by getting a break ? Instead I wasted our time by not telling the truth and kicking back and listening to my therapist for hours talking together about budgeting.  I was exhausted those days. 

..........