oh i see, dealing with those negative and intrusive thoughts especially for the first time can definitely be scary @Me2024 but it does not mean you're broken. when i experienced those dark thoughts at first, i didn't know what was wrong either and the 'not knowing' stressed me out too - i talked it out with a clinician who helped me process and understand them. do you have someone you feel comfortable talking to about this? 

if those thoughts are getting overwhelming and you feel you need immediate support, please reach out to:
Lifeline 13 11 14 https://www.lifeline.org.au/ 
Lifeline Text Support 0477 131 114 https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-text/ 
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 
https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/ 
If feeling unsafe, please contact 000

i know it feels uncomfortable not knowing why those thoughts/feelings are there, and that's okay too. sometimes it takes time and we need to take things step by step to uncover the reason behind those feelings (and we may need professional support to uncover this). you are not broken or less for experiencing this, and you are not alone. finding some coping tools might be helpful too, we can brainstorm some for you to try if you'd like?

here for you 💗