Hearing you @Powderfinger ..... 💜

I was married to someone who ticks every box for NPD, for over thirty years.  Apart from being a workaholic for the first 30 years which kept him out of the house for most of the time, his method of operation was to triangulate / enable others to override my boundaries ...... and who did I turn to for comfort and support and to discuss strategies with ??  Him, of course ..... 

Along with the fact that I was raising our five kids with no physical help from him, doing cartwheels to manage the household and extended family relationships, and I adored him ...... all equals 'servitude' and 'idolisation' to the NPD mindset.  Once the tide turned and we headed towards The Discard his true nature became apparent, but I thought it was the other way around, that he was the loveliest person ordinarily, and something was going terribly wrong with his personality ...... little did I know .... now I only communicate with him through lawyers who are quite stunned at his inability to respect boundaries.

Your situation sounds even more extreme, and I think I would be reaching for an AVO.  Please 

know you are not alone.  Abuse comes in many forms and it is important to slam down boundaries like an iron cage around that sort of crap !!  Good on you for what you have achieved so far.

Is it possible to block them as an email address, or are you required to keep their address open for some reason ?   I have to have a phone no. and email contact available to the ex because one of our kids has a disability and is the subject of guardianshio

 issues, of course .... :face_with_rolling_eyes:, but that person is not contacting me at all 🎉 ..... disabled one has a phone and calls their father periodically from another room with the door shut - my boundary there .....

Take heart, take courage ..... one foot after the other ..... baby steps .....