@Gwynn 

Hi. My entire life has been the wars, though this last year and currently is no different. I think even a blind man could see change is needed and a lot of it. I am tired of fighting wars. Wars that others create and that I create with myself. 

I read your response which was so lovely and thought about it. It conincides with a few realisations I have had today about myself. I focus more on everything that is wrong with me, mor so that what is right with me. I am very hard on myself and have high expectations. The thing is I only do this with myself. I am very gentle with other people and don't have unusually high expectations of anyone else. I am going to continue therapy next year. 

Back to what you wrote. You put it in a way I understand. To learn that I am in inspiration to yourself and @Anastasia and the other things you have said are true has lifted my spirits a little bit. You have pointed things out that I need to hear. Thank you for a positive response and for lifting my spirits a bit.