Sorta sounds familiar @Wanderer re loops but sometimes it just needs good nights sleep or well just comes out of nowhere. Or overcompensating if that makes sense in case it happens. Something saw recently adds to feeling that it’s inherited in my case , experiences of parents can affect DNA they’re saying now. Dunno about that but upbringings maybe yes. Siblings grew up how they were supposed to seems. Just me maybe. Anyway All sounds a bit blamey and others ok or became sort of ok.absent father with PTSD and huge chip on shoulder/sense of inferiority and loss. All plastered over with anger and absence. Anyway. You can do it.