Thank you @FloatingFeather @Shaz51 

🥲

You are right, all I can do is my best and accept I (like everyone else) am not perfect, I think a lot about what my siblings would be doing around this time, I hope they are happy. 

My partner is amazing and so supportive, and knows that this kind of thing can be hard and tries so hard to make me feel the kind of joy at Christmas and birthdays that I never had.

I never had Santa or anything like that as a kid so we’ve been watching a heap of Christmas movies and decorated our house, just the inside 
 
On a lighter note I offered to wrap all the presents while nobody is home and it turns out I am a horrible wrapper our toddler could have done a better job than me. I got to open them all and try again, felt like it was my birthday 🤣

I really cannot wrap presents 🥴🥴