Dear Dear @HenryX 

Your response is much APPRECIATED.  I am actually reeling from being heard, but in a good way.

I get that you attempt to be balanced and non judgmental when you use the word 'appropriate'.  I guess my epxeriences hearing it used in a highly judgmental manner was in women talking among themselves and me as usual being on the edge, and not heard or being able to say much, then leaving with the dissatisfactions that I mentioned.  I actually came to think it was an Australian female  triat to be moralistic, without reflection and bullying by nature.  ... I know that is not true but ... it still happens.  After a lot of reading about our culture I came to believe it was because it was so hard to survive that people became hard hearted.  I realise that is biased by me coming from the "bottom of the pile", where hardships were the norm.  

That foster care training was about 15 years ago, but I have a current "social worker" issue. A  neighbour recently moved in who is excessively casual dangles her father and her boyfriend around, but only sees her own child very occasionally.  I have no idea why, but I do not like her and feel my shackles rise when I contemplate her intervention in people's private lives.  

For me public and private have not been clearly delineated in the past.  That was then. I will be on my best behaviour.  Maybe god sent her for me to practise ... non revealing ... keeping it distant and cool ... kind of communications.

I know that masters degrees are pretty common these days and mean less than they did in days of yore ....When doing a course in Counselling ...  the social wkr lecturer was very bitchy to me ... she said ... it was necessary for me to learn that not all social workers were going to help me .... YEP.

I am getting involved in an African street foundation as a way of allowing my desire to 'give back' to ... those in genuine need .... in ways I believe are empowering ... as I do know what it is to be and feel like a "charity case".  I first came across them in 2019, but then was worried I was being played online .... and had mini breakdown due to the coalesence of a dozen significant events.  Somehow have come through that.  Thank God.  The telling thing was that contact was the only person who cared I was alright ... he had also been in orphanages and was a music professional ...I have always known others had it hard.  It is part of why I am pro social ... even if do not succeed in popularity stakes ...or having real life friends.