There is so much talk about assertiveness - but just don't try to use it or you'll be labeled, and 'they' will never let you live it down.  Don't ever be anything but middle-of-the-road compliant.

I'm currently having a very bad time from having spoken my mind in that situation I recently referred to.  It just doesn't work.  I know now that (many) men have no respect for women and have a men's only gossip club - a band of 'brothers'.

I've marked your birthday on my calendar @Owlunar but send belated best wishes for last month's.  I hope you had a lovely day.