@Appleblossom @Ici Thanks guys, appreciate the positive thoughts there.

@Appleblossom yeah accounting is not my friend, couldn't imagine the headache you'd get having dealt with it full time. I'm glad it's behind you now.

When I read your response about viewing this as not a good fit for now, for a moment I felt uplifted. For a moment. That pesky negative thought process is chewing through everything at the moment. For a long time I've been good at challenging that negativity and it's been a while since I've felt like this. I'm hopeful though, that in a week or two I can reread your comment and give myself permission to view this as necessary, rather than failure. But, at the moment, yeah it feels like both--necessary and failure. It's frustrating needing to withdraw sometimes, I wish I wasn't this way. But I am. And I don't like it. I've been working so hard to push through and it's been good, I've done more in the last year than I ever imagined possible. It's just frustrating that I still have setbacks like this. I want to be able to charge ahead, like I've been doing, and this time I can't and it leaves me feeling like I've taken a step back. I'm not doing the best that I can, I'm not putting in 100%, I'm giving the negative thoughts control, I'm spending too much time feeling sorry for myself, feels pathetic really. It is pathetic.

Sorry for rambling. And thanks again all for pitching in and lending an ear here, really appreciate it.