Thanks guys for the responses @Powderfinger @Appleblossom @Ici I'm not going through with it. I can't say I've ever viewed taking on opportunities like this as a "sacrifice of mental health". Yes, it's gruelling at times, and takes a lot of prep and recovery time on my part, but the alternative being that I let my mental health issues dominate and dictate the choices I make? That's a no go for me. Every time I do manage to pull myself through something like this, I'm better for it, stronger, and more capable the next time. In this instance, after the past few days, I just can't manage it this time. And I feel disappointed in myself for not doing better and being stronger--especially since I know I can do this kind of thing. It feels like taking a step back as opposed to putting my mental health first and taking care of myself. It feels like giving in and being weak. It feels like failure.