Thank you @Adek.  WoW - ECT that is hardcore mental treatment. You are strong & brave. I am glad that you are off three meds. I will say you are your best guidance. Listen to your body, mind and feelings - be positive about the feelings and be mindful of the devils whispering (thoughts that are not helpful or make you feel guilty/shame) Trust God.

My brief story below.

I must say it was not easy. With the will of God anything is possible. My divorces, abuses, moving countries, loosing everything and bringing up two kids on my own is a strange country where I had limited support and it was tough. These were some reasons for my emotional stress. I was on sleeping tablets on an off. I was hospitalised in 2009, 2012 and 2014 due to stressful episodes that was beyond my coping skills. Every time while in hospital I was on meds. I hated it. I find ways to convince the doc that I am Ok and then get released by cooperating with them, giving the right answers. Each episode was gave me insight to myself, my weaknesses that put me into this situation. The episodes happen due to lack of sleep & fear. Once I am able to sleep I don't need meds even though some days I just don't want to get up as I feel so hopeless. My focus was not to take meds and refrain from hospitalisation. This is my motivation to keep off meds. Upon reflection I know God always have looked after me when there was no one. I remember a statement that sates God will help in ways we do not know. This comforts. I was in Malaysia [2014- last episode - it was bit of nightmare but they are no different form the Australian hospitlas- the only diffrence is they broadcast Quran instead of the local TV programs and it feels much calmer] doing an NLP program when I had an episode. Again alone in another country. I went to several different types of therapy. Some conventional and others not so. I pray and put my trust in God to guide me because I do not trust people and fear depending on people. I still find it hard to trust people due to too many deceptions. Yet, I listen to professionals and people who gain my respects. [I also suffered a great loss of one of my close friends/mentor in 2009 just after I was released]. I also do my part. I eat well, exercise find something positive (I read every thought has chemical reaction) in everything that happens. I hear honey and dates can cure any sickness other than death. I include these in my daily diet. I drink tea and sometimes coffee. I am telling it was not easy but worth while. Maintenance is an everyday job. I have to keep watch on my thought and now I call devil's whispers. Today, I feel I could be invisible. One of those down days. I am grateful I am not invisible. Because, today I met my uncle whom I haven't seen for sometimes. I also looking forward to visit another island with my parents. 

For me guidance comes form God who created us- who knows better? God has given us the ability to think and take action. I believe that all who suffer can be off meds. Current meds does not heal. It numbs our sensation and we become consumers for the drug producers [pharmercuticles]. It can take commitment, discipline and if we have a support group it will be easier. All the best @Adek

Hi @eudemonism @Bubbles3 @Former-Member @Former-Member @Vanessa5