What have i learnt about myself, others and reality this morning? @Former-Member @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Neo ... i live in a world that is very isolated from others due to self centered and selfish behaviour and not having anything to offer anyone or society. Or not wanting to give what they want from me. I am timid of other people because it is what i get in return. Even though I have a socially addictive nature. And it gets to the point where i figure i am better off being completely independent from others. Or at least as much as i can be. Even though impossible.
As for other people. You could say they have their own wellbeing and best interests at heart over all others. Even if it is. In a selfless and considerate way. And they eventually learn that putting themselves first is the best option. Otherwise they will leave nothing for themselves. And will end up dependant on others beings. For a decent existence.
And as for reality, in a spiritual and mental way. As much as we rely on other beings for a sense of connection, happiness, health, meaning, joy and purpose. We also know that it is where all the pain, hurt, turmoil and distress comes from. So it becomes a case of... manipulation, control and power. And i think everyone knows. That no one can really be trusted. When push comes to shove.
It is a lonely and desperate existence for all i suppose. And i think we are all. Using each others weaknesses as leverage against our own suffering. And we really need to feel that there is always someone below and someone above.
I think we are searching in vein. For that perfect day. And that perfect way to live our lives. But unfortunately. We live in a mental world of chaos and dismay. Which we keep at bay. Through psychical barriers. And protection measures. Which essentially cannot protect us. From ourselves. Which makes a lock on the door. The most ironically cruel thing. One could ever do themselves.........

Am i really a result of God's will? Or just another piece on the chess board that the Devil plays...?