@eudemonism You are about the right level of interpersonal for me ... dont worry on that score. You are a person, thats it, you call it how it is, for you. People who have not had similar experiences might find it hard to relate, some might extend their imagination and find a little compassion or understanding.
All we can do is water our little seed of hope, and weed around it so it does not get crowded out by thoughts or feelings that undermine our belief in ourselves and in life.
@Former-Member things still delicato at home, and a mixed bag when out socialising.
Yet I perservere. I have been very isolated in past, (10-40 years ago) but very busy socially atm. I take it as an opportunity for me to learn/improve my social skills. Getting quetly better at it, which also includes not letting people push me around or pass me around like a football.
I guess I making fewer mistakes and being less idealistic about having or being the great friend or the great love and lowering my expectations. I also figure if I am in enough groups, it lets me see in a series of interactions - whether any issues - might be about me putting my foot in it .. or others being rigid, locked into B&W or magical thinking. I dont have to raise my observations or opinions and mostly just try to get along.
Today I did 2 little assertions. One worked beautifully, the other is actually a case of bullying & harrassment but I am trying to be kind and let it be re-education. 3 bully ladies made life difficult for son & I about 3 years ago ... and they are getting the drift ... as I have refused to be pushed out and am getting support from interesting and lovely people.
Fancy, the silly lady telling me off in vocal warmups when she was totally wrong, but cos she is treasuerer and has her cronies all worked out, she did not even realise. It was uncomfortable . but I quetly stood ground saying not to correct me when you are wrong, moved a few feet away, and got to sing with a much better singer. Cos of their bullying I have lost income, but whatever ... atm I am trying to keep low profile but not submit unless person has genuine authority and my real respect. Have been working on Impact statement Child Sexual Assault. It is a new and eye opening outlook for me to resflect about this regarding myself. Geez there are a lot of people addicted to bullying. I try and forgive and be polite, but cos they know they did wrong at some level, they are getting antsy. Still their problem tho.
Sometimes it takes me a LONG TIME to get clear re group interactions, but it helps when I do. It is helping me set MY BOUNDARIES, which is a really difficult and counter intuitive thing for me
... but helps.
Kind of like we have to find out what it is that we want, really, truly want, and what the cosmos is able to give, for whatever reason.
Cheers @Vanessa5 @Shaz51
