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I get upset by wasting resources and time too @Former-Member but I guess bottom line comes down to the things that you do have control over, rather than being stuck. VW are not bad cars and I know a few girls/ladies who get a life by owning one.
Re your dad, all you can do is visit and maybe take him out, and look out for his interests in his nursing home.
Re your family, It has always been difficult. It makes me sad thinking about what you have all suffered.
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