I will try to find that handbook @Maggie.

I am so, so glad you found your counsellor ..... she sounds like a wonderful and very understanding (empathetic to your situation) person.

I have found in my searches people saying that keeping a communal diary that "everybody" can write in really helps. For young ones that can mean using a scrapbook andctextas / crayons available, and for older ones, perhaps a communal wall on the computer, or white-board .... whatever works best .... perhaps choices left open to suggestion. Written communications in any case.

💜