Your wife sounds like she cares so much @down_not_out . I remember when I was unwell with horrid anxiety, my husband was amazing. He never pressured me. I used to say to him he'd be better off without me. He never once indicated that, it was all in my head. He just persevered and said there was hope for me and he knew I would get better eventually. Your wife sounds the same. And yes, partly I did want to get better for him and my kids. I think that's ok. I think the feelings of happiness that you're experiencing are proof you also want it for yourself, which I'm sure you realise. Driving to a little quiet park and getting out might be nice for a start.