Please read content warning before reading below. I don't want to upset anyone

I was pregnant last week. I'm not any more. These things happen, it's very common early on. But people don't really talk about it. Are you allowed to feel something about it when it wasn't really anything yet? It was really almost just the idea of something...I'm probably silly to even consider wanting more children given how shit the world is and how close I came to leaving it [multiple times] last year. But the thing about being isolated at home taught me is that family is what is important to me, and I am not sure that my family is done.

I've spoken with my GP about my meds and what being pregnant would mean for me, so that's good. I also have so much support now and 3 diagnosed mental health conditions. When my i was pregnant with my daughter, i had none of that. I was so ill, i had such a complicated pregnany and I had serious health problems after she was born. I am so scared those things will happen again. But I am getting older, so it feels like if I am going to do it, now is the time. But far out, i think there's something wrong with me for wanting this? Ugh, i don't know. Thankfully I have a psychologist appointment on Monday so I will speak about it with them - i have so many guilt issues to work with around this.

Anyways, that's my update. Thanks to anyone who has poppped by to read this. Sorry if i didn't tag you xx

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