Hi @Molliex 

So your Nan is near her end - hopefully for her sake it's not long - I'm glad she's on a pain drip - that will ease her passing

But it's hard for you - always hard for people standing around - don't worry about the actuality now - you can't possibly know how it will feel - I have lost my parents, grand-parents and my son - all were different - when it's time for the seniors to depart then of course we don't want them to leave but they must and it's the way life is

I'm so glad I know - and your SH - it's been less so that's a plus - especially with the stress of your Nan and the fires - it's really too you were able to share this with a couple of friends irl - this is a helpful strategy - and sharing with us too - well done

All the best with your pdoc appointments - feeling as if it's all hopeless is pretty normal - yes - you just have to work through it - I remember telling my psychiatrist so long ago now that he was wrong - it could never change - but it did. It might feel easier once your Nan passes - I hope so

I hope it's not too long - waiting and feeling as if you are on the edge of it all is not easy at all - we are all here for you

Dec