Hi @Faith-and-Hope  thank you for your thoughtful reply.

I also try and distract myself with hobbies, outings, work etc., and often it works. At the moment my depression is so bad that I just don't have the energy to do some of those things, eventhough i know they help.

I'm going to a family wedding this weeknd for the entire weekend and I'm positively tied up in knots thinking about how I am going to get through it without drinking too much. Smile, make coversation, stop thinking those thoughts.

The forum seems very supportive, so I am glad to have found it.