Hey there, I am new to this as well which is why I thought I would jump on and reply to your comment. I only found this forum today, and I am also just looking to unpack everything and get off my chest what has happened to me in the past. I am sorry to hear about what happened to you, I am lucky to not have experienced that kind of assult. But I got my BPD from childhood trauma.

Dont feel alone when speaking to your manager, make some time with them so you know they have the time free. Be open, honest, but don't play on how you feel. I work in a highly stressful enviorment and my boss is 'a big deal' it was hard at first but now he understands me. Well, he does his best. I think this forum will be great for you if you like to write, do you have a diary?

I am sorry if my comment doesnt help, I just didnt want you to feel alone 🙂