Dear @Angels333, please share this with a trusted family member (or someone who both you and your partner trust). Please don't hide this from your partner; sure right now might not be ideal, that's why a trusted inner circle person now).  I speak from experience being the partner of a self harmer. When I saw evidence of the harm by accident it freaked me out to the extreme. It would have still been shocking to be told, but the hiding really spelled the beginning of the end. Not saying that is likely for any other couple, but the lack of trust that underlayed firstly the harming and then the hiding was the start of both of us becoming less and less trusting of the other, and keeping more and more secrets.