@Healandlove you are very welcome hun. I think the very fact that you have this concern, that you're not just like "Oh this is normal behaviour!", is in itself a benefit too. I think if you were just to rollover and try to make it ok or explain it away, then that would be teaching your kids that they ought to respond to aggression in the same way. Instead, you're teaching them not only that it's not okay to treat people that way, but also that humans are complex, and deserve compassion even when they're being big screamy meanies. 

Ach such complex lil creatures ain't we!! 

I agree with you as well - @Shaz51 presence is preferred to positivity!! Oooh yay alliteration 😋 Hehe. But yeah like... great examples all over the forums of this - like when someone is struggling with suicide ideation, we as a community typically aim to gather around them and be there with them, rather than trying to make it all okay or resolve it for them. Reckon that's an attitude you could try to bring into these moments?