Hello @ob1 

You seem to understand her fear may be separate from your actions actually inducing that fear.

Tbh I am concerned at indiscriminate allegations of sexual and physical abuse and how that increases the distance and tensions between men and women.  (my exhusband accused his exes MIL of sex abuse .... sigh ... it had become a thing and I only came to terms with the consequences of real sex abuse and sexual ignorance and judgments).  Innuendo is powerful  I am also concerned at the denial of very high levels of aggression in women.  Women have been more violent to me than men, and I am a woman.

My personal history is that I had to do years of research after dad died to get to the bottom of what was going down in my parents marriage and make sense of my own life.

Today at the doctor's clinic, I witnessed low key diagreements between a mum and dad over a toddler.  Dad was leaping through hoops and mum was sullen and oppositional.

If you feel you are not being heard at Mensline, that is doubly terrible as it is the service supposedly doing that job.  Keep looking for respect and dignity.

The world, families and children need good men.