Hey @dug ,

I'm hearing you. I can't share much from the perspective of a carer, but I can share from the perspective of a borderline. 

As much as your world is in turmoil, and you want to run away, I feel your daughter feels the same. However, she can't run away from herself. 

I hear your struggles in having to be the target of her mental health. I'm sorry to hear this and I recognise this must be incredibly difficult for you. 

I can relate to so much of what your daughter is doing. In the past, I hurt all those closest to me. I blamed everyone else. Yet after moving away, I realised my troubles followed me. The more I tried to run, the worse I got. It took time, but in the end, I realised I needed help. I couldn't blame any one anymore as I'd moved away from everyone I knew. 

Being diagnosed in my early 20s, I didn't start intensive therapy for BPD (or I wasn't ready until then) until I was in my early 30s! 

BPD is very treatable, but the person must be willing and ready to put in the hard work. 

Remember, it is NOT your fault that she is like this. I also had depression and anxiety with my BPD. When my BPD was treated, the depression and anxiety slowly fell away. However, antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds helped me to be ready for therapy.

As a carer of someone with BPD, PLEASE set your boundaries. If she is ever abusive to you, please protect yourself. Trying to reason with a borderline while they are triggered isn't often very helpful. The brain has already completely switched to the emotional brain and the reasoning brain is close to non-existent during these times.

Please know you are not alone.

You can call 1800RESPECT for support around the relationship if your daughter if you think it'll be helpful.

If you feel unsafe at any time, please call 000.

We are hear for you. Feel free to visit Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script