Toxic cheating

[Camf1]

Hello, 

I am new here but felt I needed an outlet to post. I have been in a relationship for 14 years but for 6 of those I have been cheating on my partner. I have no explanations as to why and always thought I was just toxic and a liar. But this year it came to light that I have borderline personality disorder. Only recently has my partner found out about all my lies and cheating and I feel horrible that I did that. But I also feel like I had no control over myself. I don’t condone what I did and I despise my actions. I just don’t know how to explain to her what I did was all about my own feelings and not her. 

[Bow]

Is your partner sticking by you? If they are, you are lucky. For their sake and your own, please get help. Get into a psychologist, get the support and learn the tools to stop what you are doing and to better understand yourself. 

[Camf1]

No she has left me. I have been admitted to a day program for bpd

[hanami]

Hi @Camf1 

It's a good thing you're getting help for your BPD. Is there any chance your partner will forgive you and give your relationship another chance? 

I thought these might be helpful for you to have a read of.

Feel free to visit Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script 

or

Topic Tuesday// Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Week 2022: 'See The Person'// Tues 27th Se...

Warmest wishes

Hanami