Welcome! Introduce yourself here 🙂

[telemagenta]

She was supposed to stay longer but after her outburst and the discussion around it, she chose to move out.

[Jaila]

Good morning! 

As you can all see, I’m new here!

I am a 56 year old mtf transgender woman, post op 21 years now.

I’ve been in a stable relationship for 22 years until recently when my husband decided to trade me in for a younger foreign cis model from a website called Orchid Blossom.

Needless to say, I’ve been devastated and rocked to my very core and now life is complicated, to put it mildly.  My heart has been absolutely pulverised and I don’t know get from one day to the next anymore.

ok… other things about me… the non depressed, somewhat happy me, that is.  Although it is much more difficult to actually see that me in recent months.

I am a runner…a distance runner.  Not just distance, but stupid distance runner.  My favourite distance to run (until the depression really set in), is **km.

I love hiking and kayaking as well.

And I love my pug dogs, all three of them, as if they were my own children.  And, all animals, in fact!

I am originally from Jacksonville, Florida in the US and have been in Australia for nearly 24 years now.

I need help.  I am currently borderline suicidal, very lonely, and seeing a psychologist every week.  Thank goodness I work hard every night because it, along with my pugs, is probably the only reasons I’m not pushing up daisies.

[tyme]

Hey @Jaila ,

Thanks for sharing about yourself. 

What an interesting life you have! Amazing @Jaila 

I hear how much your dogs mean to you. We have others here who have amazing furbabies too!

As for running... yikes... no marathon or half marathons for me.. walking to the end of the court I live in is more than enough...

But you're right... I do need to get more physical activity in.

Check out:

EVERYTHING DOGS 

When you feel suicidal, do you have a safety plan or something that can distract you? Certainly, the power of pets is incredible.

We are here for you.

[Jaila]

Finding support locally has been difficult, to say the least.

Because I’ve been in such a long term relationship AND the sole income for the last 6 years, I’ve had little time for socialising outside of work.  And being in management that entire time, I’ve had to maintain a certain distance from my team.

So, with the end of my 22 year relationship, I’m almost starting from scratch.  True friends, those who are more than just associates, are minimal.

Fortunately, I have sought support on a professional level recently in an attempt to understand and limit the depth of my depressions.  But my psychologist thinks I need to socialise a bit more and make connections outside of work.

She has also worked with me to create a Safety List for those times I am at my very lowest.  Names of a few people I trust that I can call or ask to come to me at any time of day or night.  And, help lines when I can’t reach them.  There are even a few things she suggested I do to help reduce the risk when I am at that point.

But most of all, I just need people around me who understand where I am at in my life at this particular moment.