Evening all
I’m new to this site. I have never wrote on a forum where I introduce myself;’if you read the following it will probably end up being very long winded
I just turned 46 last month. Next month my husband and I have been married for two years and together for 8. I had to to give up work in 2016 due to my mental health. I had a doctors appointment and by the end of that appointment I’ve never worked since. My husband at the time had already wanted me to give up work, we had only been together 8 months by this stage, we were living together.
I decided at a very young age I did not want children as I couldn’t look after myself; so I have fur babies instead.
Im a volunteer at my local dog shelter. The dog shelter is a pound, a place where people can surrender their dogs plus an adoption centre. Over the last 18 years on and off I’ve volunteered there plus I worked there as an animal attendant and also done customer service. This time around volunteering I’ve made friends. Last year I was acknowledged during volunteer’s week so I had an article written about me. There has been an article written about Lilly Rose; my fur baby, and I. The organisation writes about past dogs who have been adopted and their new families. In September this year Lilly Rose and my life story is going to be featured in a book. I adopted Lilly Rose 13 years ago from the shelter I volunteer at. Lilly was a stray who was almost one. Lilly was the reason I’m still here now. Last year on the 13th of December I had to say goodbye to her as she had nose cancer. I’m still grieving for her, currently crying while writing this part. I’m also a foster carer for the organisation I volunteer at. We had a dog for a sleepover, his name is Dudley. Dudley is 10 years old, he is a jack Russel x pug; he has had a lot of homes during is life as he needs to be with someone most of the time as he doesn’t cope. Dudley got adopted but came back the next day. Dudley got adopted by us on the 12th of January. It was meant to be as my deceased uncle’s name is Dudley.
i don’t live far away from my parents, basically not even a five minute walk. I speak to my mum everyday, either via text, phone call or we catch up for a coffee. My parents have been my rock during my mental health journey even though for a very long time they didn’t understand it. When I was first diagnosed as having Bipolar 2 they than had a light bulb moment. My parents, husband and some of my friends still don’t totally understand my mental health condition as I believe that unless you have or are experiencing mental health illness no one understands it.
next part of the story is regarding my mental health.
Ive been on the mental health journey since i was a young child.
When I was 8 months old I had meningitis. I’ve done research into the impact of meningitis that can follow through to adulthood. I have a mental health illness, cognitive problems, I’m dyslexic, have hearing problems. So far now of the specialist that I have seen in relation to my mental health illness have not worked out that the meningitis is most likely the cause of my mental health problems. The so call experts have tried blaming on my condition on being spoiled as a child, attention seeking, not being able to deal with stress, bad relationships, my parents and have also suggested I must of been abused as a child. I actually had a great childhood and have fantastic parents.
I’ve had a few diagnoses:
When mum took me to our family doctor due to the fact I was always crying he told mum I was just doing it for attention and to get my own way
When I was an adult I started the process of getting help for my mental health. I was told that I felt like this due to not handling stress or due to bad relationships.
depression
2012 diagnosed with having Bipolar 2 disorder and anxiety
2019 diagnosed with having Borderline Personality Disorder and anxiety
I’ve just recently been doing research into mental health illnesses. I’ve compared Bipolar 2 Disorder, Borderline Personality, emotional hyperarousal symptom, ADHD- emotional deregulation. I’m trying to be re assessed as I believe that I have ADHD emotional hyperarousal.
I have just recently seen a psychiatrist as I’ve been suffering from morning anxiety for almost a year now. Sometimes the anxiety will not last long other times it does. My anxiety has prevented me from going to appointments, catching up with friends or just leaving the house. The psychiatrist blamed the medication that I take for narcolepsy as the cause of my anxiety. I started the medication two years ago and it was only last year the morning anxiety started. I’m not an expert but I think that if it was the medication that the anxiety would have started two years ago. I’m currently trying to find another psychiatrist that doesn’t cost a small fortune.
My mental health condition is not something I’m embarrassed by as this is what makes me who I am.
It took me a long time to come to the realisation that it’s only me who can help me. I can be given all the information, advice and techniques by the doctors but I’m the one who needs to use that information to be able to improve on my life’s journey
