New to SANE

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Former-Member ,

 Thank you for sharing. Like you, I can certainly relate to some of the struggles you are having. I'm glad you have been directed here where you know you are not alone.

As a survivour of BPD, I can only appreciate the methods you are using to reduce the emotional pain. I too used to regularly self-harm. Although my therapists did not encourage my SH, they saw through it to help me find the real me. At no point did they say 'don't SH' because they knew i needed help for the emotionally hurt inner-child to heal. However, I would like to say, please tend to your SH as medically required.

After much therapy, today I can truly say I am so grateful for my BPD. You know what? I believe it has made me a better person. It's helped me to know what people struggle with, what people feel, and what it's like to feel hopeless. I also know what it feels like to overcome the challenges of MH with the help of people who genuinely care.

I hope you too will be able to connect with those who really want to help you find the real YOU.

You deserve to be cared for. You deserve to be well. You deserve to feel connection, acceptance and belonging.

I encourage you to continue reaching out here - a safe, anonymous platform. If you have any questions around BPD, I'd be more than willing and happy to answer to the best of my ability.

Looking forward to hearing from you. Once again, thank you for your post.

BPDSurvivor

[Former-Member]

Thank you for your response , l know l need support , but l also tend to shy away and suffer in silence. Right now l struggle with who l was as to who or where l am today. I am hating myself so l punish myself with SH. Writing on here was difficult but a starter. l still dont understand my diagnosis of BPD , and yes l would love to further ask you more about it. Again thanks

[Former-Member]

Any suggestions are hopefully options for me .....

[Former-Member]

Struggling is an effort , falling apart on the inside , screaming but no one hears are the torments that run through my mind all the time . I hate where l am presently and fear where l will end up??????

[Former-Member]

Hi , and thanks for the tip , l was wondering how to tag people in ...

[Former-Member]

Morning , challenges have and continue to add up and l am at breaking point , my SH is my minds way of lashing out the pain l feel on the inside most times .

[Former-Member]

@oceangirl awesome , sorry was testing it out 

[Former-Member]

I was l guess not expecting so much thoughts of assistance. Its been a tiresome journey being myself and l dont tell people of my self harm but its hard to miss the banadaged arm or wrist and with the coming warmer weather , you get the looks but no one really asks. Its the unknown questions that linger and l stay away from obvious questions.

I appreciate all the help and hopefully future.

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member I'm so sorry to hear that things are so hard at the moment  I can really hear the pain you're going through.

If you'd like to connect with a broader community of people living with BPD, @BPDSurvivor created an amazing thread over at Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script - I'm not sure if you've come across it yet?

And if you think it could be helpful to talk to someone, here are some options available:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

If in immediate danger: 000

I'll also check in with you by email. Take care 

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Former-Member 

Welcome to the forum.  The therapeutic aspect can be ongoing rather than simple fact sheets although they can help too.  SO many different stories and people and therefore a rich reservoir of lived experience is on here.  The understanding of underlying causes was key for me.

I have had a wide range of SH and struggled with my sibs SH. I honestly have only had time to get into specific research about it in last 10 years, before then I had just had to weather the blistering storms of my life, with lots of slipping back ... 4 steps fwd and 2 or 5 steps back!

Healing and moving on from SH can very hard.  Tbh I have reduced the major problematic behaviours, but still have residual tendencies/compulsions like mild trichillomania and discoriation disorder which might gross people out, but I am working mostly well with compulsions when I am aware and can catch the thought behind it or the feeling of self punishing.

It is a journey, but know that it is possible to heal both your current wound and the 'instincts' that lead us to cause ourselves harm.

Take Care 

Apple