Family help

[Buddy2022]

Good evening, my first post. I need help for my nephew he is 30 and lives with me and his partner and 3 children. He drink on a Friday and Saturday night an excessive amount of scotch and coke. With out much to eat. He doesn’t think he has a drinking problem we all do think as it’s a must he needs to do every week if he wants it or not. His whole attitude is so different most of us just stay away from him because his conversations are annoying. He won’t Amit he has a problem and if we mention anything he would get cranky his not aggressive at all. What do I do 

[Former-Member]

Hi there @Buddy2022, wishing you a warm welcome to the forums. My name is Sirius, one of the peer workers here at SANE.

Firstly, thank you for sharing a little bit about what you're experiencing right now at home. It sounds like you've got quite a complex situation going on there under your roof. Are you aware of anything that might be triggering the drinking for your nephew or if he's tried to reach out for support before? 

A little while back SANE hosted a Topic Tuesday event on the topic of Alcohol. You might be able to find some helpful advice here: https://saneforums.org/t5/Special-Events/Topic-Tuesday-Alcohol-Tuesday-23rd-November-7-00-8-30PM-AED...


Below are also some further resources you may find helpful:

Hello Sunday is a helpful site that may be able to provide you with some further support to:
https://hellosundaymorning.org/helping-friends-family/

The SANE website also has a helpful webpage for those supporting someone with substance use issues: https://www.sane.org/information-and-resources/the-sane-blog/caring-for-others/supporting-someone-wi...

Family Drug Support Australia: 1300 368 186

Another suggestion maybe for you to help talk things through with a trained professional could be to reach out to the SANE's free counselling service on 1800 187 263, 10am - 10pm Monday to Friday. Here you could discuss your situation, or ask for more information on supporting your nephew with their alcohol issues, as well as for details of support groups and other services for family carers in your local area. 

You've done the right thing by reaching out for support @Buddy2022. I hope these resources prove helpful for you.

Sirius✨

[maddison]

Hi @Buddy2022 

Welcome to the forums. Hopefully you will find this to be a helpful place for you.

I am sorry for what your household is experiencing with your nephew. It is such a difficult thing to go through. I can understand that you want to help your nephew, -at the same time, his behaviour is having a negative affect & upsetting those around him, who love him most.

I am glad that @Former-Member had been able to provide some useful links & phone numbers. Please take advantage of the resources that are available to you. This is such an overwhelming problem to try and do it all on your own. I also agree that you have done a great thing by reaching out here.

Personally, I do not like to drink alcohol. I don't like to be around people when they are affected. I can relate to how you feel. 

They become different people - argumentative, & annoying!

They cannot see it because they are affected. This may be a silly suggestion, have you ever thought about video recording them when they acting terribly - & then playing it back when they are sober? It probably will not change anything, however it might at least give your nephew some insight into how bad his problem really is?

I agree that professional help is needed. If he continues to see that he has a problem & refuses any treatment then, get the professional help for yourself & other members of household. Drug & alcohol programs understand that it is not an individual problem, but extends to entire family/friend. They have specialised programs for this, that I truly hope you can find some help & benefit from, & perhaps learn new skills in dealing with this.

You could also try chatting with your GP for advice on how to handle things moving forward.

Kind regards,

maddison