BPD - Just want it to stop

[Nic237]

I am on a continuous and dangerous trail of self destruction that I cannot get off, I know all the things I have done and continue to do so are wrong, so why cant I stop??? I get help then stop then repeat and its a vicious cycle.

I just want to go somewhere for intense therapy for as long as I need? Does anyone know of anywhere? At this point in time I would go anywhere in the world. Particularly struggling with impulsive behaviour which for me goes hand in hand with addiction. I just want to be better, before I ruin what's left of my life. 

Help 😞

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @Nic237 ,  it's good you've joined. 

I'm sorry to hear your situation and how you're feeling 😞

Can I ask if you have any professional support? Like a trusted GP, psychologist or psychiatrist? 

I'm going to tag @tyme  who knows a lot about BPD...

A handy forum tip is if you type @ then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply. 

You can also type BPD into the Search bar above for threads on that topic. 

I hope you find the forums supportive...

[wellwellwellnez]

I'm getting a "planning stage" vibe. A few other vibes but I find the stages of change play out more like a continuum for most of us. I recommend using the people-based approach on yourself. Try and make your plans about what floats your boat and/or gets your motor running.

I can vouch for a lot of the addiction services out there. I took the step to reach out not that long ago, myself. They have bags of tricks and they're on your side.

For general recovery purposes, I'd shop around and see what speaks to you. I'm a general proponent of the psycho-social approaches. It seems to be a developing specialization. One of my favourite experiments is "Rat Park". Couple of links if you're interested.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-0KfwFCMRM

https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong?languag...

[Appleblossom]

Hi @Nic237 

Welcome

Hope you find enough to get clear and get support for you long term ...

@wellwellwellnez 

Had seen the Hari talk, which is good, but liked the Rat video too.  Important. That we have more nuanced conversations about substances ... and addictive personalities .. it is not a one size ... yada yada ... and we are not rats ....

[oceangirl]

@Nic237 

Welcome to the forum

Sorry to hear of you struggle

You could try south pacific private

One step at a time

[Former-Member]

Afternoon @Nic237 and welcome to the SANE forums 😊 

I'm a peer support worker at SANE and you'll often find me floating about here in the forums offering a listening ear and/or advice where applicable – at SANE our peer support workers all have a lived experience of complex mental health too so we share that commonality. In terms of house keeping, if you need to reach out to a moderator you can do so by tagging one like this @moderator. You can also tag other forum members in the same way.

Whilst the SANE forums aren't a crisis service, if you were ever looking to chat with a counsellor you are most welcome to call the SANE help centre on 1800 187 263 Mon-Fri from 10am-10pm AEST. Chatting with one of the trained counsellors about how to find help may be a good option.

I'm also wondering whether you have any professional supports in place at the moment you could reach out to? A trusted GP can be a helpful person to talk to when looking for specific treatment programs in your area, such as DBT.

I'd like to really commend you for the honesty you've expressed here, particularly the openness you're providing to yourself – it's a true demonstration of self-care, to communicate your need to feel better and to reach out for help 

I hope you find the support you need here @Nic237, it's a lovely community of friendly and sage folk.

Take care
Rhye ☘️ 

[tyme]

Good Evening @Nic237 ,

How are things going for you? 

I thought I'd drop by and introduce myself.

I've has a lot of experience with BPD, and although it is not pleasant while you are riding the waves, it is absolutely treatable. People go on to live highly successful lives, with very limited occurrence of re-lapse. 

What's even more promising, is that it is a mental health condition whereby you can take full control.

Do you have any specific BPD questions you'd like to ask?

Sitting with you,

tyme