New therapist

[Patches59]

@Dimity  due to getting my eyes done my therapist has book phone appointment for next session during which the plan is to start working on where to start.  For my second session with her I typed up and gave her a timeline of events and age I was at the time which she has verbally referred back to different times in our chats.

9yo is where the timeline starts and is a very sad memory.  Events during my entire teen years are the events that have left the biggest impact on my reactions to current day.  Lots of negativity, sadness and fight/flight during those years

sending you hugs  

[Dimity]

@Patches59 well done for constructingvtge timeline.  I can remember some incidents but there was a lot of ongoing trauma and neglect as well. Memories well up occasionally.

My therapist was quite prescriptive - I had to finish within 9 months and I had to choose 3 incidents related to each parent to work on - the earliest, the latest and the worst.  And I wasn't to bring up anything else. It ended up not fitting these parameters and was cancelled. It was all quite upsetting. I don't know whether my new therapist will begin afresh but I'll probably have to be in a better frame of mind first.

[Patches59]

@Dimity  I’m so sorry to hear the way your therapist treated you.  Understandable about being cautious about seeing some one new.

I wish for you that your new therapist is more understanding, patient and more empathetic.  My understanding, each person needs to feel within themselves they are ready to see a therapist.

Blue Knot online counsellor suggested typing a summary timeline to give to the therapist.  Took me few attempts, and lots of tears whilst typing the timeline, to feel I was happy with the details.

As preparation for EMDR my therapist gave me 2 sheets of paper to complete.  Each sheet to be completed with 2 events and how each event made me feel.  One sheet for trauma related and the other for positive things, with decisions fully left for me to make what I chose.  

Last session she said that next step in the preparation is her and I working together to decide which trauma event to start to focus on.  She also said those plans may change as my mind may take a different pathway and has told me that quite often happens and is perfectly ok.

I know I’m lucky to have been referred to therapist with whom I found a connection, without that connection I would have only seen her for short time.

[Dimity]

Interesting advice from Blue Knot @Patches59 . I found them very nice and helpful the twice I've rung. It was only after talking to them I reached out and asked for trauma-informed care as I'd never done so before. I'm floundering a bit at the moment, very depressed. I admit I have trust issues.

I'm concerned about my cat. He's gone off almost all his usual foods and I'm struggling to find what he'll eat. He's quite old and has lost weight. I have him on arthritis shots and the vet suggested he might need more pain relief. She hasn't wanted to do bloods as he's anxious when at the clinic.

[Patches59]

Sorry to hear about your cat @Dimity 

I can understand your concerns.

can be so hard seeing a pet not well.

with the blood tests, is your vet able to come to you?  
Could a mobile vet be available and an option?

I also have trust issues.  Trust issues as adult is not uncommon for those of us who went through trauma related things as children.  When trust was destroyed as a child it’s not difficult to easily trust as an adult.

ive found similar when talking with Blue Knot counsellors.  

will be thinking of you and your cat.  Hoping you get some good news about him

[Dimity]

Hello @Patches59 I hope your preparations for your eye op are going smoothly. Not long now.

The cat seems a bit better thanks. I'll bear in mind the mobile vet. 

Yes trust can be hard. I'm finding that at the moment in both asking for and offering help, fearing backlash. 

[Patches59]

Hi @Dimity  sorry to hear about your concerns regarding backlash.  I struggle with asking for help plus believing I’m being told the truth…. Been hurt too many times.

Does your cat have a nickname you are comfort using on the here?  What type of cat is he/she?  What colour/s?  White cat I had years ago had variety of nicknames, some people never knew his actual name 😹

couple days until my eye op and time has gotten away from me with things I wanted to do.  Plans for tomorrow are housework in the morning including moving crockery to area that’s higher than currently.  Meeting to go to in middle of the day followed by grocery shopping.  

how are you finding your new glasses?  Are they for close up work / reading?  

[Dimity]

@Patches59 it sounds as though you're keeping busy. 

I'll call the cat Tiger. He's a 3-legged brown tabby short hair.  Quite elderly. He came to me after his former owner moved, and I've had him a long time. All of my cats have been unexpected but much loved.

There's been a family upset, my sister is ill and my help seems unwelcome, but I'm emotionally and financially invested. And triggered.

My new glasses are for distance. I'm having trouble with focus and my eyes keep watering, maybe eye strain. I thought colours would be brighter after the op. 

I think I'll pause the therapy.  The therapist said next time she'll ask if I've joined a neighbourhood group yet but around here every group seems for an ethnic minority or difficult to get to without a car... or tied to disability funding. 

I think you have 2 cats? What sorts are they?

[Patches59]

I have a male and a female, both short haired and adopted as bonded pair through a cat rescue group. I decided to keep the names their foster carer call them.  Sunny is my big 6kg boy who is white and ginger tabby.  Luna my little girl is black and white tortie.  They are both 4yo, is like having human toddlers some days.  😂 

Unfortunately so many things involving family can be unpleasant.  saw it with my late husband and his sister and then dealt with lot of nastiness from his sister starting couple days before he died.  My heart goes out to you and sending you lots of virtual hugs. 🥰 🤗

cats can be wonderful the love they give us.  3 legged, which leg is missing?   Couple years ago I was foster carer of medium haired grey and white 3 legged male who was amazing, plus so funny, to watch.  Couple months before coming to me a local vet had amputated one back leg due to the bones having been shattered.  Watching him laying on his side and playing with the soft toys I had was so funny.  Whilst with me he taught himself how to get himself up and down from top of 100cm tall cat scratcher.  Am still amazed how quickly he adapted to getting around on 3 legs

[Dimity]

@Patches59 Sunny and Luna sound nice. I hope they'll be OK with your neighbour over the next day or two. 

Tiger lost his left hind leg before he came to me. I think it was a car accident. He's vocalising quite loudly as I type this and has come to sit on my lap.