Healing hurts

[Jynx]

Thanks for the tag @Shaz51 

@fairyheart hey nice to meet ya! Sorry to hear you're sitting with such heaviness, never easy to feel that weight hey. Glad you caught up on some slumber! And sounds like you smashed some cleaning tasks, nice one. Hope this evening is just a chill one for you? 

Here for you, if ever you wanna chat or get stuff off your chest 😊💜

[fairyheart]

@Glisten and @Shaz51 it definitely was a good sleep and much needed, lake of sleep makes me fall apart even easier than normal. 

I am trying to get it all done today as I have a memorial tomorrow, so hopefully means I can just come home and look after myself for Sunday Monday. 

I am just so tired of feeling like a raw nerve all the time. 

Does anyone else get a feeling of wanting to go home, but even if you are physical home you still feel that way *shrugs*

anyways its finally shower and relax time, I am beyond exhausted now.

thanks for being around 😃

[Glisten]

@fairyheart  I know how it feels to be completely lost and alone.

Longing to belong

Pining for a home you never had

When I first came to the Forum, I wasn’t sleeping for 2 or 3 days straight and would cry all day.

Just do this symbol @ and the first letters of anyone’s name 

We’re here for you.

G

[Dimity]

Hello @fairyheart 

You've done so much today despite being in pain. I'm sorry if you're grieving the loss of someone close to you, and I hope you can connect with others at the memorial. 

Sometimes the sense of being at home is as much about people as it is about place.

I don't feel at home either. 

[fairyheart]

@Glisten yeah its definitely a new experiences for me, I am not use to feeling lonely at all really a now on this level its just taking it out of me, then plus the trauma processing on top of all that its just exhausting. I appreciate that thank you I am not use to people being around for me to be honest.

@Dimity I am sorry to hear that you do not feel at home either, its an unsettling feeling for sure. I don't even know what mines about but its been with me my whole life, I can often occurs when I am struggling to stay earth side (not the case now).  Thank you, it will be a challenging memorial in more ways than one, but I have my friend (emotional support human) coming with me to help. 

I am so beyond tired now, I may have over done it today now my body is just as sure as I am from all the hurt and heaviness- its all just so yucky.

I have had a shower so I am toast and warm from the inside. I have homemade pumpkin soup with dinner rolls to eat. So I am going to make that and snuggle up on the couch and watch TV. 

Even my eyes are sore. This is seriously so exhausting.

I hope the Saturday evening in kind to you all. please know I am so grateful for this space and the people here already!!!

[Asgard]

Morning @fairyheart 

How does today find you, did you get some sleep last night, its rather chilly this morning in NSW, my cat has the right idea all wrapped up in a heavy blanket on the couch....Asgard

[fairyheart]

Hey @Asgard, 

I appreciate you thinking of me! I am unsure if this was Sunday or today haha. 

But the memorial went well, I was able to connect with some of my old coworkers. I did not stay the full time but lasted two and a half hours. 

I slept ok just very broken. 

It was cold here in WA early this morning as well but hasn't been to bad today as the sun is out. 

My cats love the blanket as well, especially the heated throw!

I'm feeling pretty lousy today, I have made some potato and leek soup si hopefully that will help some. 

How are you doing?? 

[Asgard]

Morning @fairyheart 

Me, I'm good I guess, though have been having a lot of crazy dreams of late, they are soo full on that I seem to be exhausted when I wake up.  Its soo cold here at the moment, that potato and leek soup sounded lovely and warm.  How are you feeling mores the point, what do you get up to juring the day......Asgard

[fairyheart]

I find it so hard to function when its so cold, @Asgard I hope you manage to stay warm. Yesterday I did not do a great deal to be honest. Just did some journaling and coloring in and made the soup.

This morning I am spending some time updating my resume so I can slowly think about that process of getting back to work. 

I am just so sad and so heavy that this sort of stuff is just really hard. I feel its hard to express as I do not want to overstep. I am safe- but I guess at the moment that's just frustrating if that makes sense. 

[Asgard]

Tell me about it @fairyheart , not a fan of the cold, have mittens on as I type this.  Am also tidying up my resume, as money wise I will need to get back into the workforce soon.  I scored a job interview this morning which has given me a bit of an ompf to my step.

Its amazing how little things like that perk me up, the sound of that potato and leek soup prompted me to heat up some oxtail soup, just from a tin, but it was yummy.

I know what it feels like to feel heavy /sad but I guess the little wins make things more mangeable.  What are ye having for lunch by the way....Asgard