Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Sally_Morris]

@Queenie  What I love most about community is that is completely our choice as to who we choose to be a part of our space - we can have our 'chosen families' which may - or may not - include the familes we were born into.   

For some though it can be really hard to find our communities when we aren't accepted by our families

[CherryBomb]

@Sally_Morris 

What do you do if you find that you've used the 'wrong' language?

[Sally_Morris]

I am always really curious as to how people have ventured out into the world to find their community when they havent been able to find this through their families - and what it was like for people when they find their community.  For me it was both an equally scary and exciting moment!

[Lunar]

It does really seem like acceptance is key in feeling like you are a part of a community, I like that you are able to choose your community but also see how that can be very challenging. @Sally_Morris @Queenie

[Queenie]

Hi for me, I linked in with members of the LGBTIQA community through meet ups and community programs in my state. I discovered there was a large community (and I am not just meaning hook-ups here) of individuals who were willing to support me and encourage me to discover my authentic self. For many years I was living unhappily in a heterosexual marriage. However I was always more attracted to females than males. When my marriage ended, I formally 'came out'. The support I received from the LGBTIQA community was invaluable.

[Sally_Morris]

For me - if its language that I am not familar with or comfortable using myself - I avoid using this all together.  I also like to ask people what langage they perfer to be used - especailly if I am unsure!   And if i make a mistake (and I do!!) I try to catch myself as soon as possible, acknowledge my mistake, and correct myself.  I might do this if I use the wrong pronouns when I am talking about a person - it is really easy to make a mistake - so dont be too hard on yourself!

It is best to completely avoid words that are obviously offensive 

[BeHappy]

This is a great discussion.

Can someone explain to me what CIS means @Sally_Morris?

I have a friend, who I care about a lot. He was Jake, but now she is Jane. I don't care regardless, and I accept her no matter what. But I'm feeling like not sure what to say around her.

[Sally_Morris]

That is really wonderful to hear!  Not all people have this experience of finding their community when they go looking for it - there are many things that can get in the way - like living in a rural and regional area where there may be less visible LGBTI people and less spaces where LGBTI people feel safe to gather in public. 

[Lunar]

Hello @BeHappy thank you for joining us tonight, that is a really good question. @Sally_Morris are there certain things that @BeHappy could do to make their friend Jane feel supported right now?

[Sally_Morris]

@BeHappy  Im glad you asked!!

Cis is a short word for Cisgender - which essentailly means that the gender that you are (ie male or female) matches what your body looks like.  So you have a female body and a female gender - or a Male body and a male gender

Cisgender is a newer term, and has emerged to be the 'opposite' of Transgender - which means that your gender is different to your body.

its jsut a word that is easier to use than describing somone as not being transgender.   So we have Transgender and the oppositie Cisgender