Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Determined]

@Stacey_N yes there is a lot of stigma around BPD

My experience particularly with ED departments is that BPD = attention seeker. 

Even in a mental health ward 😕

[EK1]

@ Lauz - once my son was diagnosed with BPD I felt a sense of relief that at least we could start to make sense of the problems we had encountered with him up until that point - all the anger and frustration, his disappearing acts, his silence for days - we just didn't know which way to turn and most of time it would end in a massive row Sadly over the last few years our family dynamics of living with someone with BPD has really struggled and affected us all especially our elder son but we try to take each day as it comes and deal with each day on its own -

[Stacey_N]

Very much the same here too.

[EK1]

@ Determined - I would agree with that and sadly that seems to be the opinion of many of our friends and family - it doesn't matter how hard we try to explain I've come to the conclusion no one really understands

[Determined]

@Stacey_N those struggles definitely resonate with me.

In recent times I have also come to recognise that some of my darlings accusations against me are more about feelings about herself and projecting that on to me is her way of dealing with it. Hope that makes sense. 

[Lauz]

@EK1 I can understand that being able to have a bit more knowledge and learnings around a diagnosis can help inform behaviours but it doesn't necessarily make things day to day easier. It's a good apporach to take it one day at a time and being here to learn is also a very encouraging step!

[Never_Lose_Hope]

@EK1 Families seem to be in the dark about how to help and what to do. It would be good to have specialist support for partners ie information and ongoing professional care. Getting lost in the system is common.

[Determined]

@EK1 (by my perception) it was only after a major crisis that involved suicide attempts that members of my family began to understand. It was after a rather out of taste and in my opinion nasty remark when I responded along the lines of - you do realise she tried to  .... and she was not in hospital bt choice....-  that the penny started to drop, 

[Lauz]

@Stacey_N you have worked really hard with being very aware of your husbands behaviour and how to interpret them. What do you do when you are faced with some fairly upsetting or difficult behaviour – have you been able to talk to your husband about these times?

[Never_Lose_Hope]

@Determined This is what's happening with my friend and his partner. Accusing him of things he hasn't done when all he is trying to do is support.