Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[EliseSunflower]

@Former-Member How do you feel about doctors withholding the PD diagnosis from him?

I know you've mentioned hospital-based treatment and ECT - I'd love to hear more about treatment and support services that Mr D has accessed, if that's alright with you.

[Shaz51]

thank you @EliseSunflower, @Lauz

I am  finding the discussion  very interesting  and helpful and I love to learn more so I can help others and to understand what the person and their carers are going through

[Determined]

@EliseSunflower self care is not something I am very good at, a work in progress. Anything that I do for me gets swept aside when my darling is not in a good space as it takes all of my energy to keep her safe and support the children.

My main self care is my university studies, this is something measurable (through results) that I can focus. I receive a lot of support through the universities  disability support services that makes it possible for me to engage with university studies. 

I have been accepting help more from our mothers in recent time and delegatingminding duties  (both children and my darling) where previously I have tried to do it all myself. 

(Sorry if some of these answers are getting out of sync, taking some time to consider my responses). 

[EliseSunflower]

Hi @Former-Member @Determined and anyone else who may be reading. 

I'm wary of time so going to post my second-last question, for when you have a chance to get to it: What would you recommend to a carer supporting someone with the same personality disorder?

[Lauz]

@Shaz51 really great that you are finding this interesting and are taking the opportunity to learn, I'm sure the others posting here tonight appreciate that as well!

[Determined]

@EliseSunflower

Self care and seeking professional help.

More importantly shop around if at first you are not satisfied.

After my first attempt and being told to leave my wife I did not see anyone for some years, something in hindsight was not in my best interests. 

Also seek support from friends and family rather than try cover things up and do it all alone. That only results in burnout. 

[EliseSunflower]

Great suggestions @Determined! It can be extremely challenging to seek support after a negative experience - to trust another professional. 

[Determined]

For  me @EliseSunflower the biggest challenge is taking time out to look after myself when my darling is so needy. 

And I mean that as a love response not a have to response. 

[Former-Member]

@EliseSunflower
Left out my thoughts about present Dx - not sure - I think most of us would have some PD traits - don't know if Mr D would have any more or any less than the rest of us, although can see some merit in the PD (NOS) Dx. The BPii Dx is probably one I can reconcile his symptoms with much better than with some others that had been tendered, some doubt remains.

Re: withholding Dx - I do not know if they said anything to him or not previously as I was not in on the conversations, by the time I was there, BPii was thought to be the primary complaint.

I cannot reconcile a lot of the treatment Mr D was given to a number the diagnoses that I am aware of. The ECT was given I believe for MDD diagnosis. God only knows what the pdocs were thinking with some of the treatment Mr D was given as I cannot align some of them with any evidence based treatment protocols.

To me learning about the diagnoses Mr D gas been given made so much difference. I have been able to reduce expressed emotion, understand that it was the illness not him. I have seen counsellors and a psychologist (found the counsellors better).

[Former-Member]

I too was told by a member of a treating team to consider my relationship @EliseSunflower, cannot remember the exact words but I understood it to mean that I should consider leaving Mr D