Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Littletink_]

Yes that is what I have said to her - about maybe minimising contact with her father because every time she has contact with him she goes into an awful downward spiral and is such a mess.
Unfortunately her father and mother divorced due to her mother becoming sick with Bipolar Type 2 and he treated her in the same kind of way he is treating my partner now. He treats her as if her mental illness isn't real and he tells her that too it is very damaging

[suzanne]

Well tonights conversation has gone a little over but that's fine as I was late to get it started.  Thanks for joining us @Determined, @Littletink_, @Shaz51, @Jacques and @Nirgal.  I'll keep the thread open for you to keep chatting if you like.

Tonight was really about planting the seed that it's best to devote some time and attention not just to your role as carer, but also to meeting your own needs and those of your relationship. 

This isn't meant to weigh you down with a longer to do list. As some of these things just take small gestures - a shared laugh over a TV show, an unexpected hug or complement, maybe even a note  reminding them of how you feel. 

It's not necessarily about 'date night' or weekends away.  I genuinely believe that good relationships are founded on these small moments and kindnesses.  They're mostly free, don't take up much time and can keep you connected even through tough times.

Thanks for joining me tonight.  As always, you're give the best advice to eachother as no-one else quite gets it like you do.  Have a good night.

[Determined]

Thanks @suzanne

[Nirgal]

Thanks @suzanne. I can really relate to @Littletink_ in the difficulty with the older generation. I have some information sheets that I want to walk them through and they are for the kids as well. Sometimes it feels like I'm fighting a battle on two fronts. Helping my wife with her issues and fending off unecessary criticism from her parents. With the infidelity, as it's the first time I think it may be a good way of getting into a therapeutic environment. Leading up to it I can see how I've not been a particularly romantic partner and that we were growing apart as husband and wife.  

[Littletink_]

Thanks heaps @suzanne we appreciate it so much
And thank you @Determined for the advice you gave me before. It is very good advice and I will definitely keep it in mind 🙂 As important as it is to give our partners ect support we do have to make sure that we are getting our own support as well and sometimes I think we forget that because we are so busy and preoccupied with other things we do forget to look after ourselves and seek support when it is most needed

[Determined]

 Best of luck @Littletink_,  easier said than done I know, I am still  a work in progress in this regard, it is so easy I getting caught up in what needs to be done and forget about ourselves. The longer it takes the harder it is to break bad habits I am finding.